On Thursday we had 2 social workers come to the house to do Freddies initial assessment. I won’t go into too much detail about how it went, simply because it’s to complicated to explain & i don’t really know myself! Our main reason for ringing social services for the child in need assessment was because having a child like Freddie is damn hard work!
We spent an hour discussing Freddies needs, his lack of a diagnosis, his medication, his doctors & therapists & how it all affects our family. We were really trying to push for some form of respite. I’m tired, my partners tired & Evie needs some mummy & daddy time. Every single part of me feels guilty for admitting that i need a break but i do & if i don’t get it then i will eventually just burn out. The Social workers didn’t seem overly bothered about offering respite, despite the fact they said he clearly has very complex needs & they could understand how it must really affect us. Anyway they are ringing back next week so we should know more about it then.
Once they left we then had a physio session. Our physio is great & seems to care alot about Freddie. We spoke to her about the assessment & i did end up pouring my heart out to her a bit! I could open up to her so much more than i could the social workers. She put me at ease whereas having two social workers perched on the end of my couch taking notes on everything i was saying was very daunting. I explained to her how as a family we REALLY are struggling. Freddie takes over our whole life. People may think that is an exaggeration but he really does.
When i originally thought about looking into respite i kept trying to justify my need for it by saying it was just for Evies sake but when speaking to the physio i found myself admitting that actually i need a rest. I need to sit down & relax, even just some time to do some housework would be good! I found myself saying that Freddie is beginning to become a bit of a burden on us. I feel generally awful for feeling this but it may show how much i need a break. I told her how guilty i feel when i don’t do enough of his therapy with him & that i worry i make his problems worse by not doing enough with him.
She was so understanding & is going to speak to the social workers for us. She is also going to get our SALT & OT together & discuss Freddies needs & see what is the most important thing we need to focus on with Freddie & the rest of his therapy can be put on hold for a few weeks. Not sure how i feel about this. I feel a bit like i’m letting him down. If hes having less physio or seeing less of the occ therapist am i stopping him from progessing? In all honesty progress is that slow that i’m not even really sure it will make much difference.
I just want to stop feeling guilty all the time & worrying that his lack of progression is my fault.