I woke up this morning & could remember a really vivid dream i’d had about Freddie…He was sat on a family members knee & had a big full head of blonde hair. My partner was sat on the chair opposite & more family members were sat in the room. I was stood in the door way looking on. Freddie suddenly just said “Daddy” I remember everyone looking at each other in disbelief & then Freddie said it again “Daddy” It was the cutest little voice i’d ever heard.
Then i woke up.
Some people might not realise how much of an impact that dream could have on me. At the age of 20 months Freddie is yet to properly laugh or babble. He makes a few noises now & again but hes quite a quiet boy. To hear his voice in my dream was hard as it’s something i long to hear in everyday life.
One day Freddie will hopefully learn to talk. Our SALT told us not to expect Freddie to speak anytime soon as he hasn’t began exploring his mouth properly which he seemingly needs to do before he speaks. For now to help to allow Freddie to communicate we are beginning to try & use basic makaton signs when we speak to him. So far i’ve learn mummy & daddy & i’m hoping to add milk, food, again & more. Freddie is very oblivious to the signs but i’m hoping if i start to learn them now that when hes ready to start using them i’ll be an expert!
In the past i’ve had another dream where Freddie has walked but i don’t remember much about that. Something else i long to see one day. Freddie struggles to move against gravity. He is able to sit for short periods, he began sitting properly unaided at around 14 months but he still only manages around 10/15 minutes until he falls over. Hypotonia has been mentioned as has hypertonia, but no one can quite decide which, if any he has.
I have spoke to a few other lovely mummies about dreams & it seems it affects other people too. It can feel a bit like torture. Waking up after a dream like that doesn’t put you in the best state of mind to carry on with the long day ahead, but this morning seeing Freddies cute smiley face first thing in the morning was enough to make me just get up & carry on & live in hope that one day i’ll hear his voice & maybe even have a conversation with him.