Bad day

Published January 28, 2012 by swanfreddie

Freddies not had a good week. Which has made caring for him so much harder.
We tried to go out for a family meal this evening. Before we even left the house i knew it would be a disaster. Freddies epilepsy seems to have effected him this week so hes not been a happy boy. He woke up from his nap & i couldn’t stop him from crying. But Evie was so looking forward to seeing everyone that we decided to go ahead with going out & hoped that Freddie improved.

When we got to the pub he was so irritable. He just screamed when sat in his pushchair & he couldn’t sit in one of the highchairs they provided as they didn’t offer him enough support. When sat on my lap he would rock back & forth & just sit & cry. I managed to eat a bit of food but it was so unenjoyable. I couldn’t relax & socialise with people. I just panicked that everone would frown upon me & think what a bad mum i was for the way Freddie was behaving. But i don’t know how i’m suppose to deal with him when i don’t understand him. I don’t know why hes crying. Possibly the epilepsy or maybe his reflux.
We decided to leave the meal early & we just came home & put Freddie to bed.

I hate that we can never go out & enjoy ourselves anymore. We rarely go out & when we do it’s so stressful that it seems pointless bothering. We may aswell just stay in the house all the time.

I’m so tired from it all & just want to curl up in bed & sleep. But even when Freddie sleeps he still needs me. I still need to do his nightfeed, meds & change his nappy before i think about sleeping. Sometimes just wish things were a bit easier.

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2 comments on “Bad day

  • Sending you a huge cyber hug. I understand what your feeling. I hope it gets better because you need to get out. It is so hard when you don’t know why they feel so sad.

    Don’t worry about what other people might think – if I’d been sitting in the restaurant I’d have been feeling sorry for you and recalling similar nights we’ve experienced. Just presume everyone understands and synmpathises.

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