Perfect as he is

Published October 26, 2013 by swanfreddie

From quite a young age there were concerns over Freddie’s eyes. There were alot of questions over how much he could see so Freddie began having regular eye checks from 6 months old. He was found to be long sighted and have astigmatism and he also had an inturned eye. Freddie began wearing glasses when he was 16 months old to try and correct his eye problems. 2 years later he still wears glasses and his inturned eye has become worse. 

At his last eye examination his ophthalmologist was worried that his inturned eye was beginning to stop working so Freddie was only seeing through one eye which meant everything looked 2d to him rather than 3d. In order to help encourage Freddie’s eye to start working again we began patching Freddie’s good eye in the hope that his bad eye would switch back on. There were also concerns that Freddie had cortical vision impairment, which is a form of visual impairment that is caused by a brain problem rather than an eye problem. 

On Wednesday we went back to the ophthalmologist so they could look in more depth at Freddie’s sight. He said his eye is structurally ok but confirmed that it was likely Freddie’s bad eye had pretty much stopped working and confirmed that it did seem that he had cortical vision impairment. The decision was made to carry on patching Freddie’s good eye and keep using his glasses to try and strengthen his eyes. We also spoke about what to do about the way Freddie’s bad eye is inturned. The doctor said that there is an operation that can be done to straighten Freddie’s eye but the likelihood is that it will just eventually drift back to being inturned within a year. We were fine with this, we never had any plans to operate on Freddie for cosmetic reasons anyway, to us hes perfect as he is. But what the doctor said next shocked me. He told us he would be happy to operate for cosmetic reasons as we may find as Freddie’s grows older people may stop talking to him if he has an inturned eye!

REALLY?!

With all that we have been through, and continue to go through with him, the daily tasks to keep him healthy and happy we are now told that we should start thinking about how other people may view him? We are now supposed to consider putting a 3 year old through his 6th operation just incase other people won’t speak to him because of the way he looks!

I must admit though, lately it’s been something that’s been bothering me. Will perceptions of Freddie change as he grows up? As a baby and toddler (can I call him a toddler if hes never toddled?) hes always been very welcomed where ever we go. People have been very accepting of him. But as he grows up and becomes bigger will the acceptance continue? Will people still like the child who pulls hair, dribbles and spits his food everywhere in a few years time? Will people still think the child who is unable to feed themselves or use a toilet is cute? Will people still play and talk to the child who can’t talk back?  Will people still want to talk to the child with the inturned eye? 

The doctors comment has left me worrying over the future with Freddie. I always hoped as Freddie got older things would get easier for us but i’m now left wondering if it will only get harder. Will people accept Freddie as he grows physically into an older child while hes still remains mentally a baby. 

For the people who may decide that Freddie’s eye is so off putting that they can’t talk to him or his other problems bother them so much that they won’t interact with him, they should just know it’s their loss. If they can’t see past Freddie’s issues and see the smiley, happy, funny child who loves life then Freddie wouldn’t want to interact with you anyway. He only saves his smiles and laughs and cuddles for the best people who deserve them. 

So no doctor we will not be operating on our son for the sake of other people, we will not put him through the pain of his 6th operation purely for acceptance off people who don’t matter to us anyway. Anybody who loves or cares about Freddie will agree he’s perfect just the way he is. 

fred eye

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